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I have spent an absolutely absurd amount of my precious time on Earth on crypto Twitter. Was it useful? A fair question that I'll purposefully stall in answering.
As a terminally online loser, I've learned a lot about human behavior and how to communicate. Not to brag, but I've spent more hours than I can count engaging in heated debates with complete strangers online.
And because in Web3, arguing online isn't just an idle pastime but a vital pursuit, I wanted to share with you my favorite tactics to win any crypto argument and show the world how so incredibly smart you are.
Let's get to it.
1 | Embrace the art of selective reading
The very first rule to winning a crypto argument is to always, and I insist, ALWAYS, ignore inconvenient details.
You must cherry-pick only the bits that support your cause.
Is Web3 not as decentralized as some claim? Who cares! Can you lose all your hard-earned money with just a click? Pfft, not a big deal. Lack of use-cases? Who needs them anyway!
The cool thing about this extraordinary power at your fingertips is that you can skim through paragraphs, ignore counterarguments, and cherry-pick only the parts of the article that bolster your cause.
No matter if the smart ass arguing against you presents a well-reasoned argument backed by data, statistics, and expert opinions. Keep zooming in on a single outlier study or a shady article, conveniently disregarding the overwhelming consensus.
Remember, winning an argument isn't about being right—it's about crafting a captivating one-sided story that leaves your opponents in awe.
2 | Use relentless repetition
If you ever find yourself losing ground, don't worry.
Just repeat your point over and over again like a broken record, and never, under any circumstances, back down or deviate from your original point.
Repeat your argument until your opponent's ears bleed under the weight of your unshakeable conviction. Sure, some people may argue that repeating the same point over and over is a sign of intellectual weakness or a lack of persuasive abilities.
I disagree here—repetition is simply the key to enlightenment.
By hammering your viewpoint into the minds of the one you're arguing against, you are actually providing them with a golden opportunity to appreciate the depth of your wisdom. With each repetition, you fortify your position, like a digital bricklayer constructing a virtual fortress of infallibility.
3 | Go for quantity over quality
The quantity of your answers should always be greater than their quality.
Flood the comment section with a barrage of arguments, links, and emojis.
If you have friends—or even better, bots—ask them to help.
All those comments will soon overwhelm and intimidate your rival into submission.
And if you’re wondering about the quality of your argument, trust me, no one cares about the reasoning behind your argument. The ultimate way people measure success in Web3 is by how many times you can bring something up.
After all, who needs consistency when you can confuse and confound with quantity?
4 | Use caps lock
When all else fails, you have one last bullet in your weapon to win the argument:
SHOUTING IN ALL CAPS!
It may not add substance to your argument, but it can certainly make your voice stand out and draw attention to your views - because nothing says "I'm right" quite like literally yelling to the unconscious souls who dare to disagree.
Ok, let’s do a quick exercise to see if you you’re following the logic here.
Imagine this:
It's Monday morning, and someone on your timeline just posted a tweet saying that if crypto disappeared tomorrow, literally no one not directly involved in crypto would care. They present it under a well-articulated argument, filled with nuanced reasoning and logical coherence.
What do you do?
Step 1: You breathe deeply.
Step 2: You do not falter in the face of such intellectual prowess—you're smarter than that— and instead, reach for the CAPS LOCK key and prepare to make your voice heard above all others.
Closing Thoughts
When arguing online, winning is everything.
Crypto isn't a friendly debate club; it's a virtual battlefield where victory is the ultimate goal. This means you should never:
Actually listen to what the other person is saying.
Make friendship, civility, or ethic get into the equation.
Say things that let them believe you understand, empathize, and care.
Next time you see someone talking shit about crypto, don't block them immediately—engage with them first. As the argument escalates, your life will be enriched, your time will be well spent, and you'll be seen as the smartest and most morally superior person on Web3. Which you are.
Speak soon,
- Eliot
PS: Substack just launched their Referral program. If you want to help me spread the world, I want to reward you:
Invite 2 friends → Get my book “The 5 Pillars Of Web3 Community Building”.
Invite 5 friends → Get 50% off my course “Mastering The Science Of Shaping Communities That Last”.
Invite 10 friends → Get 1 hours consulting session with me.